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I came to realize certain things over the
years.
- A lie is a lie no matter what color it
is.
- Everybody wants your money.
- Assholes get preferred treatment.
- Laundry is forever.
- When you're a child, you think you can do it; when you're a
teenager, you know you can do it; when you're an adult, you let
somebody else do it.
- The unvarnished and holy truth that comes from an evening of
exhilirating, sweaty fornication is like coming out into the
light after being lost for years in a dark forest.
- Petting a cat and giving a cat attention lowers your blood pressure. Cats know this and expect to be paid for it.
- I wish I had done all the things I have been accused of.
- Meetings are punishment for doing a good job and working with incompetent people.
These are facts I remember that I've learned not to bring up
in conversations because no one else is interested in them.
- In 1960, the population of Los Angeles was 2,479,015. Barstow had 10,644. Blythe had 6,023.
- Honeypot replete ants hang upside down and are filled with
honey to feed the rest of the ant colony.
- There's no such thing as the "Santa Ana" winds. They are
santannahs, meaning a hot, dry wind. The winds do not originate
from Santa Ana Canyon; instead, they usually originate from the Great
Basin Desert, and as they descend from the mountains, they heat up.
- A honeybee tears over 20 muscles to sting you, and that's
what kills it.
- Yucca brevefolia is also known as a joshua tree.
- "Death Valley Scotty" did not own Scotty's Castle.
- "Zzyzx," pronounced "Zee-zix," was spelled in an attempt to
have no vowels, to sound like sleep, and to be the last word in a
dictionary. It is located along Soda Dry Lake in the Mojave
Desert.
- In 1905, an engineering mistake diverted the Colorado River
into the All-American Canal and filled a depression that became
the Salton Sea.
- When a cat is happy, its tail will stick straight up like a
banner.
- An apostrophe makes a possessive, that's why I write 1960s
and 1970s, not 1960's and 1970's. The 1960s and the 1970s, or any
other decade, don't possess anything.
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